It's over. Now what?

     For two years I lived and taught in Abu Dhabi and now it's over. It's been over for ten months actually, but I am still processing things that happened while I lived there (some things were traumatic) and I'm still trying to figure out where I fit in back home. When I was about to move away you would think I was about to die by the way people were saying goodbye. And now that I moved back home it's like I did die when I left because their lives went on without me and now they seem to "forget" I am here. I don't feel included in anything. I don't feel like I belong. Because of this feeling of isolation I found smallplanetstudio.com and felt prompted to start a journaling blog in an attempt to relaunch myself and my life. So I will start with this:

How I feel today:

1. Paralyzed- I want to move to a new state but I can't for at least another year. 

2. Lonely- No one would seem to notice if I disappeared.

3. Rejected- I feel like no one wants me around.

4. Alienated- I feel alone and like no one understands me.

5. Powerless- I want to make changes in my life but am unable to do so at this moment.

How I would like to feel after Project ME is complete:

1. Festive- I want to be my normal, happy self.

2. Blessed- I want to be grateful for all I have and all I've experienced.

3. Loved- I want family and friends I can hang out with, often.

4. Included- I want people to remember I am here.

5. Secure- I don't want to have to worry about my day to day life.